Duck Report: Sometimes people are nice

I get a lot of grief sometimes for being stuck on manners (I’m sure Pup will concur). 

Mostly people think I’m being a snob or pretentious or a tedious bore.  My answer for why I care about manners is always the same “It’s nice to be nice”. I mean let’s be honest; the world is a pretty fucked up miserable hot mess. Manners make the world nicer. Yes, they can be taken to extremes, but in general their sole purpose is to help us navigate our way through relationships and situations with grace and compassion.  When a host fastidiously asks you if you need anything it’s because he/she wants to make you comfortable and cared for, to make your world just a little bit nicer. And, manners need not be so formal or ritualized. Case in point:  Charlie Barton, an artist I met at my local neighborhood street festival, recently sold me a piece of art that I bought through his etsy page (we got the silk screen on wood of 36^th Street and were totally psyched about it).

I had the package shipped via Fed Ex and held at one of their shops so I could pick it up. When we got it home the Co-Borrower (heretofore known as The CB) and I were so disappointed to see that the frame had been damaged in several places and the image scratched.   I took some pictures and sent an email to Charlie politely asking what could be done about it (if you’re nice to people first they’ll most likely be nice back). In only a few minutes I had a reply. Charlie Barton apologized immediately and proceeded to make amends by offering to arrange to meet me at my house in Baltimore (he lives in Philadelphia) to exchange the damaged piece for a duplicate replacement.  I was shocked! 

Honestly, I’ve had such horrible treatment from contractors, insurance agents and workmen lately (a story for another time) that I seriously could not believe someone – a stranger – would go to so much trouble for me. 

It’s more than just good customer service, its good manners. There was no defensiveness, just a clear understanding that a wrong situation needed to be made right. 

Clearly someone raised Charlie Barton right!